The Gift Of The Magic Bullet

I have had a long time love affair with As Seen On TV products. I’ve braved the mysteries of Smooth Away and lived to recommend it. I have killed more than my fair share of spider plants despite the magic of Aqua Globes. I keep Mighty Mend it in the house because I can’t sew for sh*t.

Even Denise Huxtable is light years ahead of me.

I remember exactly where I was when I first saw the infomercial for The Magic Bullet. I almost stroked out with excitement. Did the inventors know how much I love frozen beverages? Because boy howdy, DO I. So I asked my husband, Joe, to get me one for my birthday.

My birthday rolls around and Joe hands me a bag to open. I rip into it and find exactly what I asked for. Well… sort of. He got me a magic bullet alright. Just… uh… the other kind. Y’know, the kind that’s NSFW.

I thought he was joking, so I started laughing maniacally. Turns out? He was dead f*cking serious.


Joe did eventually get me the blender, and it definitely lives up to the hype. But I would be remiss not to mention that after all that, over the years, I have by far used the other bullet more often.

It just happens to be easier to clean.

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