Podcast Episode 11: Why the Long Facebook

Ahh, The Facebook. We all love to hate it. Could we be more specific? Of course! John Hancock’s boredom and desperate need for attention have driven him to dream up projects to do on good ol’ FB. One could even say it has consumed him to a point. From the rules of unfriending to Facebook codependency, John gives us a glimpse inside his torrid love affair with the social network.


Intro 00:00
– John and I have only been around each other in person once or twice. I know him more through FB than real life.
– He DJed for the first time in 10 years this weekend!
– Check out our sponsors, Arcade Comedy Theater!

Pod Pourri 07:21
– Attempts at Facebook projects (tagging every single friend in a post, in a photo, etc.)
– Guidelines for “unfriending”:

  1. Does Person A make actual interesting posts?
  2. Does Person A show interest in my posts?
  3. Is Person A related to me?
  4. Have I seen Person A naked?
  5. Will I feel guilty if I unfriend Person A?
  6. Has Person A ever saved my life?
  7. Is there any chance that I will want to invite Person A to an event?
  8. Is Person A actually my friend?
  9. Is Person A an actual human being and at least 16 years of age?
  10. Does Person A respond desperately to the threat of being unfriended?

– Is it “Facebook” or “THE Facebook”?
– FACEBOOK SAYS: what we love and hate about the ‘book.
– John’s baby is THE cutest baby. Sorry, other babies!

– Also, example of one of the photos Devany posted of her son, who looks like singer-songwriter Ed Sheeran (and is also WAY UP THERE on the cuteness scale!): 551368_10151430487521475_1396427009_n

– Nicknames! What did your parents call you growing up?
– Non-Facebook project: photographing your whole life and posting it to the web FOR THREE MONTHS.

Games People Play 54:48
– Fuck Facebook games.
– Quick Wit is a game John PROMISED we would play but he forgot to bring the cards, so… we improvised. Poorly.

Outro 01:05
– Thanks for playing, John! Please start your own podcast.
– John hates Twitter but he can be found there as @Hancock309, regardless. Also, anyone who friends him on Facebook as a result of this podcast, he will accept.
– General reminder that Arcade Comedy Theater is jumpin’ and you should get on that shit! The hilarious duo Truth in Advertising will be there this Friday, March 29!

No poking here, so leave a comment, please!

43 thoughts on “Podcast Episode 11: Why the Long Facebook

  1. Loved it 🙂 Also… the nickname thing. John thinks it’s odd that he called his wife by his childhood nickname. My husband nicknamed my 3 year old after his childhood name for farts: Booper.

  2. Awesome interview!!

    (I noticed he uses the F word once in a while. Must have picked that up from me!)

    He did get bored easily, and I had to remind him, I am not the entertainment committee.

    Don’t “unfriend” me john, ok?

    I love to read his posts on “the” facebook! They are interesting and fun.

    Frieda Clifford – (John’s mom)

  3. 1. Harper is the cutest. Just…stop it.

    2. John, you posted the card and tagged me and Abby in it. I was actually just looking at while listening to this podcast, because I went to the ‘see friendship’ page for us so I could see what you wrote about me in your “Tag Every Friend” project (which I couldn’t find). Anyway, clearly, I am very comfortable on facebook.

    3. My new social media project is getting John to follow me on twitter.

  4. I’m addicted to Facebook for the same reason as John. As a SAHM, I am starved for adult interaction during the day. Due to this addiction, several things:
    – I disagree with John about the LIKE button. I think it’s a nice way to give someone a nod. Again, this goes back to my daughter Violet dying, but in a situation when people just don’t know what to say, liking my thoughts and pictures of her at least is a way that they can acknowledge her and my love for and pain over missing her. I wish it was available in more ways in life.
    – His baby is really, really cute!
    – I really like groups on Facebook. It is a way for me to connect to so many people with common interests that I wouldn’t have met otherwise.
    – John is right about having kids and not being able to work. It literally took me all day to listen to this episode. And yes, I’m classifying that as work because it’s…research.
    – Yes, you said my name correctly! It is beautiful, isn’t it?
    – Yes, my kids are HILARIOUS! (Thank you!)
    – IS a flute a woodwind? Regardless, I loved the Frostitute jokes.
    – The sound effects keep getting better and better!
    – My dad called us cornhead and bonehead, interchangeably.
    – “Bar man”? Why not bartender? I like that the question is “What is WRONG with this guy?” What is wrong with this game??? Is this it: http://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/5841/quick-wit

    • I also disagree about the Like button. I find it useful because otherwise, when people aren’t commenting, you’d have NOTHING. Boo!

      I know nothing about Facebook groups. Teach me, oh wise one!

      Your name IS beautiful. I felt confident about it, then realized I had never said it out loud and second-guessed myself!

      CORNhead? I get bonehead. But CORNhead? What’s the origin of that?

      If John had a podcast I would listen religiously. For rills.

      • I would listen, too, all the time and make everyone I know listen. MAKE A PODCAST, JOHN! Your talents are wasted with a Facebook page where only friends can read and you are so selective about your friends.

        Um, Facebook groups: You have to be approved or invited to join them. I am in lots: yard sale type ones for kids’ clothes, home schooling, cloth diapering (for advice and swaps), baby loss support. Some I found through friends and some through searching.

        Cornhead = my dad is great! He also said things like, “Malarkey!”

        The pronunciation that I get 85% of the time for my name is De-VEIN-y. Like what you do to a shrimp…WTF??? Does that SOUND like a name to YOU?

        • Ok, listen, about the like button thing: if you had a friend who ONLY ever liked your shit and NEVER left constructive comments, or somebody who *ahem* liked every mfing photo associated with a small person that you were related to, every time, it would drive you crazy. It would.

          • So like, the ONLY thing this person does is like your shit, ALL OF IT, never commenting. I can see how that would get a little obnoxious. I’ve had people “follow” me who aren’t friends with me and they literally Like every public thing I post. I do get a little annoyed at that.

            Amanda, I think you and I would get along juuuuuuust fine.

      • Perhaps this is best elaborated in person…

        Social media software has the distinction of both intimating and impersonalizing communication. Thus, it both emphasizes and deemphasizes sender-receiver interactions depending on the receiver’s perceptions (e.g., I can post nonsense b/c I don’t care, whereas people who post genuine, heartfelt information may overreact to responses because they’re overly invested). This is not to say that verbal and nonverbal communication in social situations doesn’t have the same effect. but with additional cues (context, body language, semiotics, etc.) the communication is purer and the sender’s intent more clearly discernable. In other words, it’s easier to tell if I’m joking in person than online.

        I also think that social media is an intrinsically selfish trend — it puts the user into a state of “communication consumer,” whereby all communication is judged and valued as a commodity – i.e., I use Facebook or Twitter to be entertained, so if you’re not entertaining ME then I’m going to block/hide/unfriend you. The section of the podcast describing rules for unfriending people particularly raises my ire because of the disgusting selfishness of the FB consumer, as though other people’s use of FB only exists for their particular pleasure. While I don’t disagree that every user has the right to determine which content they like, Facebook is not an economy of content but community of shared expression.

        I understand, too, that a social media environment is governed by its users, therefore it’s the FB and Twitter users who have come to define those subcultures, as well as the rules/guidelines appropriate to them, therefore if I have a quibble it’s really with the user community, not the platform at large.

        Then again, I may just be an old crusty curmudgeon who doesn’t think that 350 million people ALL have something interesting to say. So it’s mainly it’s the selfishness I don’t like.

        Get off my lawn.

        • i find your points completely and totally cogent. many is the time on the internet when i’ve had to assess and reassess comments because i’m worried they’ll be considered rude/sarcastic/hurtful, etc.
          “the internet has no tone”.

          • I think I also meant to mention something about how their’s a myth about the communication being personal, but (and this is especially true with Twitter) it’s actually impersonal, because when you broadcast information to the widest audience possible, your information just gets converted to electronic metrics and “trends” without actually saying or meaning anything.

            What I’m saying is, I’d totally collaborate with the Cylons.

  5. One slight criticism, my name and visage should have been inserted more. Also, how are you not a good actor!? We the people demand the Get Shorty tapes be made available to the public, via Facebook.
    Lastly, new project, “Dog A Dog B: variations”?

  6. I was reminded today of something else that I hate that happens a LOT on Facebook, but isn’t necessarily limited to Facebook, which is threadjacking. In case context doesn’t do it for you, this is basically when you post something on FB and someone responds in a way that turns into a lengthy discussion/debate (or sometimes not, sometimes it’s a string of goofy shit) that has NOTHING to do with the original post. This is okay if you’re in the mood to play along, but often it just devolves into stupid bullshit. Especially if you’re someone with friends on either side of the “liberal/conservative” divide.

  7. my main beefs with Facebook are:
    1)old people (i.e. – parents, aunts/uncles, annoying and probably conservative or religious relatives) are on it.
    2)people are obsessed with it like they are with everything on-line, talk trash about it, and yet no one seems to be able to stop. (Addi is the only person i know who speaks of it positively)
    3)their policies RE: private information and the like are not cool. no i cannot elaborate. if one wishes to use that as a means of deflating my argument, then, as Steve Albini of the band Shellac says “it’s alright, if it’s makes ya feel better”.

    true i’m not on it, but i also have never done heroin. but i know i dislike needles, sickness, poverty, addiction, and possibly untimely death, so i feel no need to try said drug.
    just my 2 cents, which is probably not worth all that much. keep on truckin’.

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