All That Glitters

I’m picky about perfume. I don’t want to smell like a teenager, an old hag, or desperation. I used to wear Sarah Jessica Parker’s Endless, but those ironic a-holes discontinued it. I think it’s back now, but I’m not done with my tantrum yet. Is expecting a personal apology from SJP unrealistic?

Sephora helped me choose a new scent with a magical book that tells you what your future will smell like. Mine, surprisingly, was not Diet Dr. Pepper and steak farts.

After testing a couple bottles, I went with Ralph by Ralph Lauren and was delighted to find that it had a matching lotion. Take THAT, Sarah! Yeah, that’s right. I dropped the Jessica Parker. 

Not so fast, though. My buzz was totally killed the first time I used the lotion. I was aghast to find it contained glitter. GLITTER. I am talking about teeny tiny shiny colorful sparkling pieces of bullsh*t on my (young but still) adult body with no Halloween costume to justify it.

Like any other (heteronormative, first world-dwelling) girl, I have a special place in my heart for glitter. But once you reach high school — ok, maybe college — there becomes such a thing as TOO MUCH FRACKING GLITTER.

That goes double for you, Mimi.

I convinced myself that it was pointless to waste a perfectly good scented lotion. I immediately regretted that decision when the travel size bottle I kept in my work bag ‘sploded. I’m guessing the only other human ever to witness such horror is the doctor who performed Mariah Carey’s C-Section.

I’m starting to think what happened with my bag wasn’t an accident. How far reaching do you guys think SJP’s influence is?

6 thoughts on “All That Glitters

  1. It must be SATC branding, but when I think of a perfume from SJP, I think that’s gotta smell nice. Plus the fact that you liked it also makes me believe so. I don’t know…it might be time to give it another try.

    • I actually loathe her “Lovely” scent. It’s way too mature. But Endless smells awesome. I will cave and go crawling back, I’m sure. Y’know, they should have made scents for each SATC character! Imagine how well they would’ve sold!

  2. It’s funny…I don’t think many people really care for SPJ, but people love the SHAT out of Carrie Bradshaw. And honestly, as dumb as it sounds, I’d rather smell like Carrie Bradshaw than SPJ.

    Um, that whole glitter thing cracks me the eff up.

    I stand fast with Clinique’s Happy Heart. In the words of my friend Jamie, “It just smells like how a pretty girl smells.” And it’s so true. There are other scents I like, but I find that the smell of most perfumes change when they are actually ON me and reacting with my body oils and stuff, so I’m pretty afraid to branch out. I hear Burberry has some excellent stuff though…I’d love to try it.

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