Accessories: A Touch of Midas

My last post was a little on the heavy side. Let’s lighten things up a bit with some fashion, shall we?

I recently attended the wedding of a close friend and wanted to look especially spectacular, as I would be acting as pro bono DJ of sorts.

Not THAT kind of Bono. Ew.

I knew I wanted to show off my little indigo one-sleeve number from Forever 21, but I kept flip-flopping on what accessories would work best. That dress makes me feel like a goddess, so I decided to just roll with that theme and go bold with GOLD.

Shoes by Carlos Santana (yes, THAT Santana): ~$50 on clearance at Macy’s
Gladiator ring: $20 at NYC flea market
Bracelet: ~$15 at Lane Bryant
Belt: ~$20 at Torrid

I won’t lie, the shoes were KILLING me by the end of the night. But I’m a smart girl who takes her own advice, so I had a pair of flats to change into — gold ones to match my get-up, OF COURSE.

Like a real professional, I completely failed to get a decent snapshot of me actually wearing the ensemble, so this is the best I can do.

Naturally, it was taken at the tail end of the night,
when I was definitely at my freshest!

I’m guilty of cropping out the guys, but my legs were never in the shot to begin with so you *MIDAS WELL believe me that the shoes looked fabulous.

*See what I did there? You did?  Yeah, sorry. They can’t all be gold.

All That Glitters

I’m picky about perfume. I don’t want to smell like a teenager, an old hag, or desperation. I used to wear Sarah Jessica Parker’s Endless, but those ironic a-holes discontinued it. I think it’s back now, but I’m not done with my tantrum yet. Is expecting a personal apology from SJP unrealistic?

Sephora helped me choose a new scent with a magical book that tells you what your future will smell like. Mine, surprisingly, was not Diet Dr. Pepper and steak farts.

After testing a couple bottles, I went with Ralph by Ralph Lauren and was delighted to find that it had a matching lotion. Take THAT, Sarah! Yeah, that’s right. I dropped the Jessica Parker. 

Not so fast, though. My buzz was totally killed the first time I used the lotion. I was aghast to find it contained glitter. GLITTER. I am talking about teeny tiny shiny colorful sparkling pieces of bullsh*t on my (young but still) adult body with no Halloween costume to justify it.

Like any other (heteronormative, first world-dwelling) girl, I have a special place in my heart for glitter. But once you reach high school — ok, maybe college — there becomes such a thing as TOO MUCH FRACKING GLITTER.

That goes double for you, Mimi.

I convinced myself that it was pointless to waste a perfectly good scented lotion. I immediately regretted that decision when the travel size bottle I kept in my work bag ‘sploded. I’m guessing the only other human ever to witness such horror is the doctor who performed Mariah Carey’s C-Section.

I’m starting to think what happened with my bag wasn’t an accident. How far reaching do you guys think SJP’s influence is?