Podcast Episode 3: Love Your Body Day (Fabulous Junk)

This episode’s guest proves that the third time’s the charm. Last year she introduced me to Love Your Body Day. Let’s talk about our hot bods!

Or listen on iTunes if you prefer!

Intro
Warm welcome to Robin Hitchcock of hitchdied.com! She’s a brilliant writer and an inspiration to me personally in MANY ways, including blogging and podcasting!

03:11 Pod Pourri
- It’s Love Your Body Day!
- Some listeners sent in thoughts about their own bodies. Others had theirs shared involuntarily…
- Robin and I talk about what makes us such hotties.

27:35 If I Were You
- Segment jingle REMIX!
- The Great Cupcake Comment Debacle of 2012
- BREAKING: THERE ARE FATTIES IN THE WORLD
- Another awkward advice song!

48:14 Games People Play
- New segment! I heart games.
- Robin is the trivia QUEEN, but I manage to stump her.

54:47 Outro
- Visit Robin’s website (where her podcast lives!) and follow her on Twitter.
- You should vote, but only if you agree with my political views. Just kidding! (Sort of.)

BONUS
Some folks submitted their thoughts for discussion on the podcast, but our pal Vicki didn’t make it on the air so I wanted to include her thoughts here. When asked what she loves about her body, she says:

1.) My boobs. They are convenient.  They are the right size for my body.  I can wear the crappiest sports bra from Target and it is fine, and I can go running without my boobs hurting. I can wear those wonderful built in bra shirts.  They seem symmetrical enough!  I never have to worry about them popping out.  I never have to use “boob tape.” I can sometimes get away without even wearing a bra.  I never feel like they are too small.  I love them.  They are the best!
 
2.) My lips.  By default they are a pretty red, no lipstick needed.  I didn’t even realize this was a thing until a friend pointed out how much she envied my lips.  Since then I have appreciated that I basically only have to wear chapstick for them to look nice.
 
3.) My back.  I always think it looks sexy in backless dresses.

 

Those are some PRIT-TEE awesome things to love about your body, Vicki. Rock on. What about the rest of you? Leave ‘em in the comments!

Spring in My Step

I cannot resist the shoe section when I visit a Target. I don’t always buy something, but I always want to. I was there with my bro recently when I spotted these beauties, and I got a WEE bit excited because I’ve been looking for a cute pair of nude heels in either patent leather or suede. These fit the bill juuuuuust right.

Target Women’s Mossimo Paisley Platform Pumps – Blush ($29.99)

Why yes, they ARE the same shade as my pale legs. Thanks for noticing. 

Here are the features I love best:
♥  Nude! Patent!
♥  Platform for the appearance of greater height without the pain
♥  Pop of color on the platform
♥  Strap across the top to prevent slippage

That’s such a sterile photo, though. Let’s get these babies dirty*, shall we?

I love instagram! Mostly because the right effect
can perfectly mask my quarter-inch long leg hair.

And, since it’s hard to see the heel in the above photo (and because I’m a narcissistic em-effer), here is less springy but far leggier shot:

I won’t lie — they’re a little higher than I’m used to, even with the platform. But they have decent padding and honestly, JUST LOOK AT THEM.

*No shoes were dirtied in the making of this post.

Head to Toe: A Gal’s Guide to Being Socially Acceptable (Maybe Even Desirable)

I’m tired. I’m only 32 years old and I am overwhelmed by maintenance. It is hard being a girl if you want to be considered socially acceptable, let alone desirable. And even if you have your bodily sh*t together (okay fine, not the best turn of phrase), what about your lawn or your car or that leaky something-or-other you swore you’d fix when you moved in or YOUR KID? None of it will maintain itself. It is, I’m realizing, our purpose in life to just keep maintaining sh*t little by little until we die.

And can I just say I am SO OVER showering daily? Unfortunately, showing up in the office looking like I’m on the run from zombies isn’t the best career strategy, so I at least shower before work.

But if you must run from zombies, sleeping with
the boss is a valid strategy.

What follows is, from head to toe, a collection of things women are assumed or expected to do to our bodies in order to be seen/heard/smelled in public. By all means, feel free to add to it. Our culture has been doing so for centuries!

If we’re being good little girls, we will show up to work/happy hour/dates/parties with all of these things accomplished. I have to admit I’ve never had my ears pierced or dyed my hair, but I’ve felt pressured to do both. Also, I am [ahem] slightly behind schedule in my hair removal routine. What do you want from me? It’s frickin’ January, people.

At some point in my life, I have felt pressured to do every single thing on this list. And ladies? I. Am. EXHAUSTED.

Yep, seems about right. Especially the sound effects.

So, I’ve taken the liberty of drawing up what I believe to be a slightly more accurate depiction. At the very least, it’s closer to what goes on in my own head.

What about you? Which part of your daily/weekly/monthly routine do you find most irritating? What can you think of that I am forgetting (or maybe just in complete denial about)?

Get a Leg Up

I know for a fact I’m not the only woman in America who boycotts leg-shaving the second the temperature drops below 70 degrees. It’s not just because I’m excited to wear cute tights (because let’s face it, full-leg argyle tattoos might be a smidge over the line). It’s because once the weather cools, I develop epic itchy/dry skin on my legs.

Don’t believe me? Here is a clip from the movie Cabin Fever clip of me shaving last winter:

For the last couple winters, shaving my legs has been torture. Actually, it’s notsamuch the shaving as it is the effects of the shaving. I could moisturize until I start sweating cocoa butter but nothing would stop the itching. It would actually keep me awake at night.

Well, not anymore, ladies! I have unlocked the secret formula to smooth, non-itchy legs in winter. And much to my surprise, moisturizing wasn’t the key ingredient. Are you ready for this?

Wow, you’re about to be very dis… appointed.

1. Sugar scrub. That’s right, I have learned that I have to exfoliate the sh*t out of my legs to prevent itching. Let me rephrase that: I have to rigorously scrape off layers of my own skin in order to prevent skin irritation. F*cking bodies, how do they work? I personally trust Tree Hut Body Scrub ($7.49 at Ulta) to get the job done. I love it so much I recently purchased a pack of 3 on Amazon. It’s a sickness, really.

2. Lube. I use shaving lotion — NOT cream — to grease up the ol’ gams. My Pure Romance consultant, Julia, would be so proud to know that I swear by their Coochy product for this. Bonus: you can also use it as hair conditioner.

3. Moisturize. DUH. Tree Hut makes lotion to match the sugar scrub scents, so that’s what I’ve been using. I haven’t found a body lotion that blew my mind since Benefit discontinued their Touch Me Then Try to Leave… Cream, which was smooth like butter and smelled ever so faintly of unicorn kisses. So if you have a body lotion you love, DO TELL.

What are the key parts of your leg hair removal regimen?